They say New Jersey schools are among the best in the country. Well, they sure do take nice pictures. Note the fresh sweater vest on J-Dogg and the cool, calm and collected look on young Eli, affectionately referred to as Easy-E (apologies) by all who have the pleasure of his company. Look how happy these children are to be getting an edumacation. Nothin’ like booklarnin’, I tells ya.

Enjoy. More to come soon (or thisevilempress aka Mommy may never talk to me again).

Little brother.

Well, loyal subjects, it has been too long. We certainly hope that you are still loyal cuz’, boy, have we lots of news.

When you heard from us last in June, you didn’t hear that we were expecting (one of us, at least) and that we were on our way out of our beloved Brooklyn and headed for the green hills of Essex County, New Jersey where battle-weary Brooklynites go to reevaluate their priorities.

And that was wrong. We should have told you. And we certainly should have kept you up to date with the adventures of the Dread Pirate Mr. Jonesy Bones, aka Young Master Jonah.

So here you go: a few pics of Jonah deep in thought about his radio controlled monster truck to tide you over until our next post which, we promise, won’t be in three more months.

Oh, we almost forgot. Here’s a photo of Jonah and Dolph Lundgren from this summer. Enjoy.

So we missed May. What of it? There’s a lot happening right now and we will be sure to keep you informed in future posts. In the meantime, here’s a taste of Jonah’s very first “art projeck” with his father: a little painting with light. Many thanks to our handy dandy mini MagLite and the Nikon Corporation of Japan. Jonah and I expect an endorsement deal at any moment.

You gotta love cell phone cameras. We already know that Jonah rocks. And, now, here he is rockin’ again. This time, he’s rockin’ Guitar Hero on the XBox at a local electronics store. Note the ginormous screen. Rock on, Jonah, rock on.

Well, we’ve done it. We’ve dispensed with the stroller for the long walk to daycare. Now that the weather has improved, young Jonah can do the whole 15+ minute walk like a champ. Here are a few choice shots of Jonah on his way to school on a chilly April morning.

Oh the things you can see in Brooklyn. Just the other day, young Jonah, the avid amateur ornithologist that he is, caught a glimpse of a peregrine falcon, one of a handful of that make NYC their home. First, Jonah’s pop sees a red tailed hawk sitting in the middle of a lawn in Madison Square park enjoying a squirrel snack, then the fastest creature on earth (really) is seen chillin’ on top of a building right across from our apartment. Wow.

Here’s a short video of our falcon and a closeup still of the said bird with a tasty pigeon firmly in its talons.

Pretty cool, no?

So we’re a little late. Big deal. Happy 2007, y’all.

Oh 2. What an age 2 is. At 2, the child begins to really express himself. He says things like “No!” and “I don’t want it!” He learns to throw. He learns to push buttons. Your buttons. And he knows just the right combination. If you resist his will, he will push back with the tenacity of a school of piranha. Really hungry ones. But he is cute. And it’s a good thing too.

Here’s a bit of photojournalism: a small example — well out of context — of young master Jonah being 2. Being 2 oh so well.

Much gratitude to our old friend Jimmy G of bavatuesdays and Planet Miles for the flickr slideshow code and the help in getting it to work right.

Just in time for Halloween (give or take a week), here’s a little memento of being two: one moment you’re as happy as a clam, doing the spinny dance in your cool fireman costume to a local band laying down some classic rock during Fort Greene Halloween festivities, and the next you’re running for your life from some dude in a Target fright wig who thinks it might be fun to pretend to scare a two year old doing the spinny dance! Trick or treat. Take a look.

Big thanks to our friend Jeff Dubin for the video and to Nona Kate for the nifty costume.

Young master Jonah turned 2 yesterday. That’s right 2 — 24 whole months. Here are the vitals:

Height: a hair under 3 feet (95th percentile)
Weght: 28.75 lbs (50th - 75th percentile)
Reach: 35 inches
Nicknames: “Jonesy,” “Bonesy,” “Bones,” “Joneeners,” “El Commandante Supremo”
Favorite foods: “PIZZA!!!,” “bean beans” (green beans — yes, you read that right), mango
Favorite phrases: “Hi guys!,” “Wanna go paymound,” “I see you!!,” “Daddy funny” (really!)
Longest sentence: “Dis is Jonah’s very cool Cookie Monster shirt!”
Favorite books: Edwina the Dinosaur Who Didn’t Know She was Extinct, The Carrot Seed, Knuffle Bunny
Favorite songs: “Apples and Bananas,” “Sing,” “Happy Tappin’ with Elmo”
Favorite toys: toy cell phone (oy!), Legos (not that he knows what to do with them), See and Say
Favorite T-Shirt: a very cool Cookie Monster shirt

Much love to Kaya and her folks at dushtumay.sahawaltzer.org for the great idea.

Yes, Jonah rocks the house. Check out these pics of Jonah having a rockin’ good time at the Liberty Tap Room in Red Hook, Brooklyn — home of the real School of Rock. Rock on Jonah boy. Rock on.

As some of you already know, young Jonah just got back from a week’s vacation in the fair land of Scotland. Yes, that’s right, beautiful Scotland where the cows are shaggy, where everybody wears skirts, and where a cup of watery coffee costs as much as a Starbucks franchise. Our wee lad had a grand time in the bonny highlands where his parents were easily able to fulfil their promises of sheep, cows and castles. Here are some pics. Enjoy.

On the Isle of Skye.

With his Ferrari on the Skye ferry.

Looking out at Oban.

In Inverary with a proper Scottish rice cake. Note the rainbow.

In the Nevis Range, near Ben Nevis, Great Britain’s tallest mountain.

Jonah just prior to his arrest.

In the beloved backpack at Inverary Castle, home of Jonah’s new best friend, the 13th Duke of Argyll.

Jonah enjoys the company of the Malkie Tappit Tartan Army of Falkirk (or something like that), some of Scotland’s most loyal footie fans in their nifty kilts.

How did young Jonah make it through the awful horrible heatwave of Summer ‘06? By staying cool at one of his favorite parks. Take a look!

Guess who stopped by for Jonah’s extra special Hawaiian themed graduation party at the Hanson Place Child Development Center? That’s right! The Honorable Rep. Edolphus Towns (D) of the 10th Congressional District in Brooklyn, NY. Click on the image above or the play button to hear Rep. Towns offer some valuable advice to one of his youngest constituents.

When you saw it first in 2001: A Space Odyssey, you probably wanted Dr. Heywood Floyd to bring you a bushbaby too. Thanks to the marvels of modern science, Jonah now gets to see his Baba and Deda every day even though they’re all the way in California. This is pretty darned cool. Hooray for technology!!!

Oh, and sorry for the 4 notification emails. For the record, the number of notifications you receive does not necessarily correspond to our level of excitement over what’s in the post. (Although we are pretty excited.)

Those crazy kids on the internets with their webcams, YouTubes and Myspaces!!! Always up to hamming it up for the cameras, Jonah is not one to miss out on the latest trend. We offer you, then, his latest webcam hijinks. The music, as they say in the biz, is non-diegetic. Just click on the image below to watch.

As always, a QT version is available here.

Well, it’s been a while. For good reason, though. Jonah took his mom and pop to Massachussetts for a little vacation on the beach with his Baba and Deda who flew out from the left coast. Here are a few pics:

Thanks, Charlie, for use of your awesome house yet again.

Yes, Jennie is now a soccer mom. Just in time for the FIFA World Cup, we give you our favorite little hooligan playing some good old fashioned football with his good friend Dr. Ian Marshall of Plainfield, New Jersey.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with English Premiership soccer (I’m guessing only a scant few), “You’ll Never Walk Alone” is the anthem of Liverpool FC, Ian’s favourite team. A Quicktime version is available here.

Ladies and gentlemen, the alpaca!

Click on the image above or the play button to start the movie. (Many thanks to Jimmy of Planet Miles and Bavatuesdays fame for the FLV Player plugin tip.) Click here to watch a Quicktime version the old fashioned way.

Well, it’s been a while since you’ve heard from us and the child did have a milk moustache. Couldn’t resist. Note the choppers.

Here’s something we cooked up after our most recent visit to the Brooklyn Museum, one of Jonah’s favorite places. Much love to PlanetMiles for pioneering the backward shimmy-shake. In return, we offer you the one and only Strollercam. Check it out. Click here or on the poster above to see Jonah on the loose on the museum’s top floor. Enjoy.

In honor of St. Patty’s day, here’s a short little ditty of young master Jonah enjoying a bit of Dubliners by James Joyce (1882-1941) with his good friend Jonathan Shieber. Enjoy, dear leprechauns. Click here or on the image above to watch the movie.

We’ve suffered a tremendous loss at thisevilempire: Jonah’s grandfather Jeremiah passed away last night. Sadly, we say goodbye to the man Jonah called “monkey.”

“Jonah, say ‘grandpa’”
“Monkey”
“No, Jonah, ‘grand-pa’”
“MON-KEY!”

In remembering Jerry, take a look at this short movie of him singing to Jonah and this picture of the two of them from our trip to Hawaii last spring. — We’ll miss you monkey.

Here’s a new, improved entry in the Wacky Headgear category. The last one wasn’t bad but we’re sure you’ll agree that in this one Jonah is far more mature, confident and just more in touch with his wacky self. A winner, for sure.